It’s here, it’s hit me, the end of another academic year. When I worked in schools it was celebration day, I’d made it through the year and had six weeks without searching for lost glue sticks. But now, I see daily the reality of what families and young people go through, as they begin facing important transitions. For some, it’s the leap from primary to secondary school. For others, it’s the shift from secondary school to college, university, apprenticeships, or the workplace. Each of these changes brings opportunity, and challenge. This time last year my son said goodbye to year eleven and my daughter to year six and the summer was a challenging time.
As a CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) therapist, I regularly support children, teens, and young adults as they prepare for and adjust to life transitions. Whether it’s navigating a new school system or stepping into the adult world of work or higher education, CBT provides helpful tools to build resilience, manage anxiety, and foster self-confidence.
Why transitions can be so challenging
Transitions often mean leaving behind a familiar structure, routines, friends, teachers, identity and stepping into the unknown. This can stir up a wide range of emotions such as excitement, fear, doubt, grief and hope.
Young people often ask me, “What if I don’t fit in?” or “What if I picked the wrong path?”
Or tell me
“I won’t know anyone there.” Or “It’s too much, I won’t cope.”
Of course, these concerns are valid. CBT doesn't dismiss them, instead, it helps individuals to understand, challenge, and respond to these thoughts in ways that are compassionate and helpful.
CBT tools to support a healthy transition
Recognise and normalise worries
It’s normal to feel anxious during change. The first step is naming the emotion. Is it fear? Anticipation? Sadness about leaving friends behind?
You could try “emotion mapping” with your child or teen, identifying where in the body different feelings are showing up. This can reduce overwhelm and build emotional awareness.
Unpack unhelpful thinking patterns
Transitions often activate "what if" thoughts and worst-case scenarios. CBT teaches us that thoughts aren't facts, and we can learn to question them.
You can use the “Evidence for and against” technique. Ask your child, “What’s the evidence for that” “What strengths have helped you succeed before?”, “What would you say to a friend who felt this way?”
Build a sense of control
Big transitions can make young people feel powerless. CBT encourages us to shift focus from what we can’t control to what we can.
Make a plan. For school leavers, this might involve learning about their course or job, planning travel routes, budgeting, or practicing key skills. Small steps reduce uncertainty and build mastery.
Use gradual exposure
Avoidance is a natural response to anxiety, but it often reinforces fear. CBT encourages gradual exposure to feared or unfamiliar situations.
Break big tasks into small ones. You could visit the new school or college during the summer, do a practice week of routines before the actual start date, learn the bus route or even role-play social interactions.
Boost coping and resilience
Every transition comes with struggles and teaching young people how to cope when things don’t go perfectly is vital. There are lots of online resources that can support you with this and you can find some tips on my Facebook and Instagram pages too.
For parents and carers
It’s not just the young person who experiences the transition, you do too. I’ll be honest, I was more anxious about my children starting school than I was taking my driving test. Your feelings are valid but how you manage your own anxiety can shape how your child or teen copes.
Whether it’s starting secondary school or stepping into the adult world, transitions are pivotal experiences. They test our flexibility, confidence, and coping but they also offer powerful opportunities for growth.
With the right tools and support, young people can learn to meet uncertainty with courage and carry those skills forward into every new chapter.
If you or your child would benefit from extra support, I can provide space to explore thoughts, build confidence, and prepare for change in a structured and empowering way. You can use the booking form on my website to arrange a free 15-minute telephone consultation. 