Parenting is one of the most rewarding roles in life, but also one of the hardest. From sleepless nights to emotional roller coasters, the journey of being a parent is full of joy, doubt, and an awful lot of second-guessing. If you're feeling overwhelmed or unsure, you're really not alone. Every parent faces challenges, and there’s no such thing as perfect parenting. We need to focus on being good enough!
In my work with parents and families there are some common themes that come up time and time again and as a mum myself I’m definitely guilty of them too… So, if you need a boost or want to know that you aren’t alone then keep reading.
Feeling like you're not doing enough
- Many parents worry they’re failing, especially when they compare themselves to others (or to perfect-looking families on social media). It’s easy to feel like you’re falling short.
What you can do: Focus on being present and not perfect. Your child needs connection and not perfection. Listening, showing up and being open emotionally available to your child can make a huge impact.
Managing behaviour without losing your cool
- Tantrums, backtalk and downright defiance, it’s hard to stay calm when your child pushes buttons you didn’t even know existed. I once carried my (then) three-year old through a busy shopping centre kicking and screaming because she ‘NEEDED’ a milkshake after her three-course meal. EVERYONE was looking and I just couldn’t wait to get home.
What you can do: Breathe first, react second. Set clear, consistent boundaries and stick to them. Discipline doesn’t have to be harsh to be effective. Calm and respectful correction teaches more than shouting ever does. I said no to the milkshake and carried it through, even though I could have saved myself the embarrassment of being watched by hundreds of people. It never happened again though, well, not over milkshake anyway 😉
Balancing work, life, and parenting, and all the guilt that comes with it
- Between work, looking after the house, cooking, cleaning, and all the other responsibilities we have, finding the time and energy for parenting can sometimes feel impossible.
What you can do: Prioritise quality over quantity. Even 10-15 minutes of focused, uninterrupted time with your child daily, reading, talking and playing can strengthen your bond. Also, don’t forget to ask for help or take breaks. Burnt-out parents can’t give their best either, you need to keep your own jug full. It’s okay to do things for you and not feel guilty about it.
More about guilt
- Whether it's screen time, what’s for dinner, bedtimes, curfews or how you handled a situation, guilt comes with the territory. Unfortunately, we all get a little guilt card the day we become a parent, constantly second guessing our choices and decisions and still feeling bad about them anyway.
What you can do: Be nice! would you judge your friend for going on a date, reading the book, eating a share bag of Doritos without sharing with their kids? Probably not, so don’t judge yourself! Nobody gets it right all of the time. Reflect, learn, and move forward. Your willingness to grow makes you a good parent.
Keeping Up
And just when you feel like you’re winning at life and have it all figured out, they throw you a curve ball, they hit a new phase and give you the opportunity to learn all about your child and yourself, all over again. Being a parent is exhausting, messy, beautiful and totally worth it! If you love your child and are trying your best, then you are doing better than you think. There are always opportunities to learn and grow, as there are in all parts of life. As the famous quote says, it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey and I think parenthood is a wonderful one to be on!
