The pressure to look a certain way: How it affects mental health
In today’s society, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by unrealistic beauty standards, conflicting diet advice, and the pressure to look a certain way. As a CBT therapist, I often see how these external messages impact my clients’ body image, self-esteem, relationships with food and relationships with other people. This blog is here to offer insight and hope for those struggling with these challenges.
We live in a world obsessed with perfection but is that it really achievable? Ever seen an ‘Instagram vs reality’ post? Is anyone actually perfect?
We see what people want us to and it’s easy to internalise the idea that our worth is tied to how we look. Many people link confidence to body size, believing, ‘If I just lose weight, I’ll finally feel good about myself.’ I’ve heard it time and time again, in coffee shops, shopping centres on the beach and in therapy sessions and from men, women and children of all ages.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) helps challenge those harmful beliefs. Instead of seeing your body as a problem to fix, we explore how you can treat it with compassion and care. Self-esteem grows when it’s rooted in who you are, not how you appear.
Body positivity vs body neutrality: finding what works for you
The body positivity movement encourages us to celebrate all body types, which can be empowering. However, for many, ‘loving your body’ every day feels out of reach. That’s where body neutrality comes in. It focuses on what your body can do, rather than how it looks. For some clients, this feels like a more achievable and sustainable mindset.
In CBT, we help challenge the negative thought patterns like ‘I’m not good enough because of how I look’ and replace them with more balanced thoughts, like ‘My worth isn’t tied to my appearance’.
Body image and self-esteem: Untangling the two
Your self-worth is not your weight we’ve all heard that. However, when you grow up in a world that places value on comparison, size and appearance it’s completely understandable to feel that way.
CBT can help identify and shift the core beliefs that may be fuelling your negative self-image. For example:
‘If I don’t look perfect, people will judge me', becomes ‘Everyone has flaws, and my value goes beyond the way I look'.
When we work on building healthy self-esteem, we explore values, accomplishments and strengths that aren’t appearance-based. Confidence grows when you start to see yourself more fully.
Disordered eating and anxiety: A vicious cycle
For many people, anxiety and disordered eating go hand in hand. Rigid food rules, bingeing, or compulsive behaviours around eating often develop as ways to cope with anxiety, stress, or a sense of control.
Sadly, I have been here, the food noise, the justification, the over exercising, the yo-yoing. At one point in my life my control came from this and this alone. What did I do? I went to university three times and learnt how I could help other people break the cycle, healing myself in the process.
Through CBT, we can help uncover the underlying triggers, help manage distress, and replace unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthier, more mindful thoughts and behaviours.
If you're struggling with low self-esteem, body image difficulties or emotional related food worries then therapy can offer a space to understand those patterns and work toward lasting change.
Fad diets and the illusion of control
Fad diets promise fast results, ‘3-day military’ or ‘cabbage soup’ diet anyone? and now weight loss medications like Ozempic or Mounjaro are gaining popularity, often marketed as effortless solutions. But quick fixes rarely address the emotional roots of your food and body struggles.
Moreover, they often lead to long-term frustration, guilt, and disconnection from the natural cues your body offers. Restriction can fuel obsession, leading to bingeing or guilt, which in turn can reinforce negative cycles.
Instead of asking, “What should I cut out?” CBT encourages the question:
‘What does my body need, and how can I respond with care?’
By learning intuitive eating principles and using CBT tools, clients can begin to rebuild trust in their body and develop a more peaceful relationship with food.
Final Thoughts: You deserve freedom
Your body is not the problem, the messages from society often are. Through CBT, you can begin to heal the relationship you have with your body, food, and yourself. It’s not about perfection, it’s about reconnection, self-compassion and progress.
Body-positive influencers to follow
Surrounding yourself with diverse, uplifting voices can powerfully impact your self-esteem and body image. These are some of the incredible people I personally follow for their authenticity, self-love, and body-positive content. I’m sharing them here in case their words or work resonate with you too.
Important note: I am not affiliated with any of these individuals, this is not a partnership or promotion. Their opinions and actions are their own and may not reflect my views. I just really like what they’re about (at least as of now)!
The friendliest foodie on your feed, she’s on a delightful mission to paint her plate with every hue of the rainbow and show how you can eat well by ditching the beige! Hils serves up colourful, powered goodness with a side of sparkle and her vibrant posts are equal parts art and nutritional inspiration. She makes eating healthy feel like a fun, magical adventure. Dive into her rainbow world and get ready to feast with your eyes, and your taste buds! She's so passionate she even wrote you a special guest blog
Is your go-to Insta bestie for mid-size fashion, real-girl confidence, and a hefty dose of “wear the damn outfit” energy. If you aren’t following her, what are you doing with your scroll time? Emily was my first positive body girl on Instagram and I’ve loved watching her styling outfits that actually work for bodies that bend. She’s the brains and beauty behind RELR, her own fashion brand serving killer basics with a side of sass. Whether she’s rocking a beautiful bodysuit or sharing a pep talk in her stories, Emily’s feed is like a group chat with your funniest, most stylish mate, no edits, no filters, just pure vibe and now she’s added a ‘health and wealth gang’ and book club to her list too!
Is bold, funny, and refreshingly honest, Hannah shares real talk about body image and life without filters. Her content feels like a pep talk from your most unfiltered best friend and her authentic approach, motivational captions and stylish outfits always has me wanting more.
Is basically the big sister I never knew I needed (though I think I’m quite a bit older than her) she’s all about real talk, massive glow-ups (inside and out), and the sassiest pep talks ever. One reel from her and I’m ready to cancel all my self-doubt and run a marathon (or at least take a confident walk to the fridge).
She turned her struggles with eating disorders and perfectionism into absolute power, and now she’s out here coaching women to live boldly, love themselves harder, and stop letting diet culture steal the spotlight.
💖 @vickypattison talks about body image, PMDD, and online trolls with zero filter, and I am here for it. She’s proof that you can be glam, fun, vulnerable, and powerful all at once. Her honesty about bloating, bad days and PMDD is refreshing. It reminds me (and hopefully you too) that loving your body isn’t about perfection, it’s about showing up, even on the not so good days, with confidence and compassion.
This list is shared purely for inspiration. As always, please engage with content that feels right for you.
You can also now follow KG Psychological Therapies on Instagram and Facebook
